Why You Hollering?

As-salaam alaikum!

This morning I was reading through my notebook when I came across this: "We must avoid being snappy with others regardless of how you feel, as it shows weakness and lack of self control. Boisterous, loud voices are a sign of vulgarity and shows a lack of refinement." in the Book on femininity. 

This passage inspired me to reflect on how loud the Black woman is today. Very rarely do you find a Black woman who is cheery and soft-spoken. It seems to me that most people raise their voices because they don't feel heard. We have become angry and aggressive. In this society, the art of listening is rarely taught. Even on television news programs, newscasters (a job that once required poise and etiquette), have turned their shows into wild, savage shouting matches where people are attacked, ridiculed, and otherwise disrespected.

There is a a way to debate respectfully. There should be no demeaning, verbal abuse, or speaking over each other. If you are speaking to a rational, mature person, try to win by making solid points instead of hollering and bullying. A powerful, relevant and accurate viewpoint is more effective than speaking through a megaphone.

Set a good example by being a good listener to others. Give the other person your full undivided attention while they are speaking. Process the points they are making and consider them. Restate their point to be sure you have a good understanding of what they are saying. Only then should you respond. If you are busy imagining a witty comeback while they are still speaking, you are not listening. You are only promoting miscommunication and devaluing the person speaking, thus increasing the chances of them feeling the need to scream and holler.

Let's strive to do better in our communication. Relating to each other in the proper manner helps make a strong, civilized society.